Purposeful Networking: Ask A Better Question
In recent years, I’ve been told by so many people that I should write a book on networking. I’m so very grateful for the positive feedback but the truth is that for so many years before then I was not very good at networking… not at all. So I’ve decided to write a series on networking that has worked for me. Some of the content is original, but most is from watching and learning from those that simply do it so well. If you get something out of this, please do what I’ve done, share it! The better we get at networking, the more business we all can create!
In this go around, I want to go deep on questions, but add a spin on it that will help us all get better at creating connections and referring business. It’ll also help you know how to better equip your referral partners to send you referral business as well!
When we are networking we have all known that more listening and less talking is the best way to gather information. The question is, is it information that is useful? There are plenty of people out there that love to talk and sometimes need some help stopping for air. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of that myself. The point is, unless we have specifically paid to hear a speech, the questions we ask should be intentional to direct the conversation.
I’m sure you all of you have gotten past the basic questions of:
What do you do?
Who do you work for?
What’s your biggest challenge?
In some instances, you should be able to gather this information from their name tag or by the nature of the networking event you are attending. They are easy icebreakers, but a decent business card and website will provide all the same information.
The next level of questions will get you closer to a more meaningful opportunity, but still doesn’t connect you with the person you are talking to. These are questions like:
Who would you like to meet?
What is your ideal client?
How can I help you grow your business?
What’s a good referral or lead?
I used to love these questions, and would come prepared to networking events ready to answer them… and if I’m honest, I still do to a degree. What I have found though is that these questions assumed that anyone who asked me these questions, or anyone I asked these questions to were going to be automatic referral sources. It left it up to the person asking the question to determine if the answer was something they could work with. Truly, no one likes to be in a position where after hearing the answer to these questions, they are left with the thought, there’s nothing I can do to help this person.
The reason is because the question assumes the person you are asking knows how you interact with your clients, with your sphere, with your community. If you are networking with people that understand your industry, then these questions are likely to work, and the assumptions made can range from “implied” to “understood” to “easily forgivable”. These assumptions can also be highly embarrassing or worse, if they aren’t clarified before too long. The best example I can offer from experience is when I’ve referred a client of mine to vendors assuming they’ll ask the questions they need to qualify the client, and they’ll assume I’ve asked the questions preparing the client for the conversation with the vendor. You only have to learn that lesson once!
So what are the questions I like to ask? It really boils down to something as simple as this:
When I’m talking to a client or prospect about buying, selling, leasing, investing or developing commercial real estate, what questions should I be asking or what key words/ phrases should I be listening for that can help me create an introduction or referral opportunity for you?
I love this type of question, because it introduces to my conversation partner what type of business or professional conversation I typically have, and allows them to consider how my client might respond to matters that could lend themselves to a referral or introduction. They can better sense the nature and path of my conversations and where they could fit into it naturally.
I know what you are thinking… I think… My question is narrow and only allows for certain types of industries or professionals to be able to thoughtfully consider an answer. Interestingly, that hasn’t shown itself to be the case.
I have received referrals, and have been able to give referrals to people I never thought I ever would because of the key words and phrases portion of the question. Listening for words of heightened emotion and stress, or timing and urgency, or cause and effect have helped me help my clients and sphere in ways they didn’t expect me, as a commercial real estate agent, to do so. I’ve become a trusted source and connector outside my own industry by listening for those questions, key words and phrases that others have ingrained in me.
And, in helping my network listen for those questions, key words and phrases that can trigger an introduction to me, then I know I’m asking the right questions.
GOING DEEPER
I could end here and hopefully it will have helped you think about the questions you are asking that will help grow business and grow your network. But I also come across another method that has helped me grow my sphere professionally and personally in a profound manner. This method doesn’t work for and with everyone, so you have to know yourself to know if it’ll work.
I’ll often get asked, what’s a good referral for me? And I’m sure my answer makes some people cringe, but it’s honest and has led me to some of the best growth opportunities to date. I want to talk to interesting people that can have interesting, meaningful conversations.
Conversation is a lost art.
It’s in these conversations that I’ve learned things that can offer real value to others, that has made me a source of information to others, that has moved me from not knowing what I don’t know to knowing what I don’t know and wanting to be in the know! It’s not always about business, but it is always about trust and honesty and understanding and being genuine. And aren’t these the character traits of people we want to share our lives with personally and professionally?
So, if you want to really engage someone, ask better questions that connect your understanding with theirs. And if you are open to going deep, then put aside your comfort zone and test your ability to stay in curiosity, and get meaningful. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you.
I hope you find this information useful, and as with anything we offer, please do not hesitate to reach out and ask any questions. We are always happy to help.
Diego Munoz
KW Commercial
diegom@kw.com
